I Don't Wanna Wait
by Deanstiel's Daughter
Summary: (S9 AUish, ONESHOT) (Sabriel, Sadreel (Friendship)) When Gadreel was inside Sam's head, he saw things, things no man should have to deal with. Now he wishes to give Sam something Sam's been wanting for awhile.


ONESHOT

**A/N: I know, I should be doing my other stories. But ONESHOTS hit me and then I don't know what to do with my life. Anyway, this one wouldn't leave me alone so here it is.**

**AU: Gadreel did not die in this, he became an ally.**

**Fic Title is based on the song "I Don't Wanna Wait" by Paula Cole.**

**Pairings: Sadreel (friendship sort of, not at first but in the end), Sabriel**

**Enjoy!**

Sam Winchester sat in the library of the bunker. He was reeling in his head and in his own thoughts. He still felt slightly sick even though the trials had been over for months. He still felt the after effects of everything that had happened. Every moment of his healing, he could still feel every fiber of his being controlled by some other force. A force named Gadreel. A horrible, corrupting, murdering, force named Gadreel. The name brought bile up in Sam's throat. He suddenly knew why he was feeling sick.

He only closed the book he'd reading when he felt a pair of eyes on him.

"Go away." Sam said.

"I do not wish to disturb you Sam," Gadreel stepped forward, slightly keeping his distance. "But there is something that has been on my mind awhile."

"Oh would you look at that," Sam smirked and chuckled, sarcasm dripping from his voice. He refused to look at the angel behind him. "The heartless bastard has thoughts."

"Sam," Gadreel pleaded, stepping closer now. "Please hear me out."

"No," Sam suddenly spun around, a glare in his eyes, his shoulders rigid. "You hear me out. You, listen to me! You went inside me, without MY consent! You controlled my being against my damn will! You, you're the bastard who killed Kevin! Not me! Not me Gadreel! That was you!"

"Sam I realize my mistakes—" Gadreel was cut off.

"Realize," Sam scoffed then let out a deafening laugh. "Well thank God for that Gadreel, I'm just so glad you recognize the horrible things you've done at my expense, MY expense Gadreel!"

"I suppose nothing I say will earn your forgiveness," Gadreel sighed. "Not that I'm looking for it. I don't deserve it."

"Damn right you don't." Sam's tone was bitter. Gadreel could see the pain, the tiredness, in the hunter's eyes.

"This is exactly why I came to speak my peace," Gadreel looked Sam in the eyes and he could see the hunter's gaze change to one of almost confusion mixed with anger. "Sam, I saw things while I was inside you. Let me rephrase that…"

"Please," Sam pinched the bridge of his nose. "It just sounds…wrong."

"I saw things in your mind," Gadreel explained, he stepped closer again. "Demons no man should ever have to deal with. I saw your choices, your regrets, but I saw other things also. Places you'd been. People you miss…"

Sam swallowed hard. Gadreel had left the last part open. Sam at first, wondered who Gadreel was referring to on that long list, but when the angel looked Sam in the eyes again, he Sam immediately knew.

"He's dead." Sam said quieter, more bitterly. He faced away from Gadreel, hands digging into the edge of the library table. Almost white knuckled, he gritted his teeth. Sam held his breath, afraid to breathe out. He knew he'd choke. In fact it was almost as if Sam had forgotten how to breathe.

"You love him." Gadreel said suddenly and Sam tensed.

Sam thought back, he thought back to all the times he'd hated that angel. The times their two worlds had collided and why. Finally he remembered the look in that angel's eyes when he'd basically told both Sam and Dean his entire life story. Why he'd run. Sam knew all about running. He knew why he'd done it. He understood. Maybe that's what had made them perfect for one another?

"I do." Sam admitted.

"I know," Gadreel got brave. He stepped close to Sam and placed a hand on his shoulder blade. Sam didn't have the energy to yell at him again. "I've seen loves like this. They tear people apart, but they also bring them together in ways I've never seen before. Come with me Sam, please. Let me make this up to you in the only way I know how."

Sam slowly turned to face Gadreel who held the same stoic look he always did. A seasoned Warrior's look, it was painful for Sam to imagine what the angel had seen with those eyes. Gadreel released his grip on Sam and stepped away, sauntering to the library door and looking back, waiting for Sam to follow. Sam, suddenly remembering how to move, lifted his hands from the table, moving his fingers from lack of circulation, and followed Gadreel out of the dusty old room.

Gadreel strode out the front door, holding it slightly escue for Sam to slip through it. Sam looked around, somehow expecting something tied up in strings and balloons, lots of balloons. Something normal for once, but then he remembered this was an angel he was following out of the bunker.

But what he did see, was better than all the balloons in the world.

Sam stopped in his tracks, breathless, unable to even speak. A new jacket none the less, but those same two beautiful golden eyes and that smile. Oh, that smile.

"Hey yah Sammy." Gabriel said.

It was instantaneous. Sam didn't even feel his feet hit the ground running. All he felt was his arms around Gabriel. Gabriel's arms around his. Sam felt the hot tears spilling down his cheeks. He'd kept it bottled inside for too long. The emotions, the feelings about him.

"Y-You're," Sam turned to Gadreel. "He's—"

"It doesn't matter how," Gadreel said. "All that matters is why. You've been lonely for too long Sam Winchester."

Sam hugged Gabriel tight, too afraid to let go. Sam sunk to his knees, Gabriel too. Gabriel buried his face in Sam's neck, whispering in his ear.

"It's ok kiddo," Gabriel said. "I'm here. I've always been here. I'm not leaving you again."

Sam Winchester knew about running, Gabriel knew about running too. But for once, they weren't running anymore. They didn't have to. They had both ran to the ends of the earth and somehow made it back here. Back to each other. Gadreel was right, it didn't matter how. It only mattered why.

"Thank you." Sam mouthed to Gadreel, looking up at him for a mere moment then away again.

Gadreel smiled and Sam didn't let go.

**Read and Reviews are appreciated!**

**I am thoroughly convinced Gabriel's alive because he is, so there. Hope you all enjoyed this little Oneshot. Many more to come and I promise my other stories will be worked on. Inspiration is a bitch. **


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